By Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS
Parenting any child can be challenging, but when you add ADHD to the mix, it can feel like you’re juggling flaming swords. The good news? With the right strategies (and maybe a little extra caffeine), you can navigate these challenges without losing your cool.
Why ADHD Can Be Frustrating
Kids with ADHD aren’t trying to push your buttons (well, not most of the time). Their brain struggles with executive functions like planning, organizing, and impulse control. This means tasks like putting on shoes or finishing homework can turn into an Olympic event.
Why ADHD Can Be Frustrating
Kids with ADHD aren’t trying to push your buttons (well, not most of the time). Their brain struggles with executive functions like planning, organizing, and impulse control. This means tasks like putting on shoes or finishing homework can turn into an Olympic event.
Parenting from a Place of Regulation
When you stay regulated as a parent, you create a calming presence for your child to anchor to. This is especially important for kids with ADHD, whose heightened emotions and impulsivity can often escalate situations quickly. Coregulation—where your calm helps soothe their chaos—teaches them emotional regulation over time. Pair that with attunement, where you really tune in to what your child is feeling, and you build trust and safety. This isn’t just about putting out fires in the moment; it’s about laying the groundwork for their long-term ability to handle big emotions and challenging situations.
Tips for Staying Calm
Humor is Your Secret Weapon
When things get tough, find the funny. Did they put their shoes in the fridge? Laugh it off. Humor can diffuse tension and help everyone reset.
When you stay regulated as a parent, you create a calming presence for your child to anchor to. This is especially important for kids with ADHD, whose heightened emotions and impulsivity can often escalate situations quickly. Coregulation—where your calm helps soothe their chaos—teaches them emotional regulation over time. Pair that with attunement, where you really tune in to what your child is feeling, and you build trust and safety. This isn’t just about putting out fires in the moment; it’s about laying the groundwork for their long-term ability to handle big emotions and challenging situations.
Tips for Staying Calm
- Don’t take it personally. ADHD is about how your child’s brain works, not about you. When they forget their lunch for the third time this week, remind yourself it’s not intentional.
- Focus on connection. Build a strong relationship so your child knows you’re their teammate, not their adversary. This creates a foundation for cooperation.
- Have a plan for meltdowns. Both theirs and yours. Deep breaths, a short walk, or even stepping into another room can help you reset.
- Celebrate the good moments. Did they remember their backpack today? High five! Did they sit through a family dinner without interrupting? Break out the confetti.
Humor is Your Secret Weapon
When things get tough, find the funny. Did they put their shoes in the fridge? Laugh it off. Humor can diffuse tension and help everyone reset.
You’re Doing Better than You Think
Parenting an ADHD child is a marathon, not a sprint. You’re going to have rough days, but you’ll also have amazing ones. Keep learning, keep trying, and remember: your child doesn’t need a perfect parent; they just need you.
If you are still pulling your hair out as you parent your kiddos—knowing that staying regulated will help, but struggling to do it—we can help. We offer parent support sessions at Arvada Therapy Solutions that doesn’t solely focus on the logistical tools like structure and scaffolding, but also works on helping you identify your triggers, manage them, and stay regulated and connected as you parent.
Parenting an ADHD child is a marathon, not a sprint. You’re going to have rough days, but you’ll also have amazing ones. Keep learning, keep trying, and remember: your child doesn’t need a perfect parent; they just need you.
If you are still pulling your hair out as you parent your kiddos—knowing that staying regulated will help, but struggling to do it—we can help. We offer parent support sessions at Arvada Therapy Solutions that doesn’t solely focus on the logistical tools like structure and scaffolding, but also works on helping you identify your triggers, manage them, and stay regulated and connected as you parent.
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