By Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS
If you’ve got an ADHD kiddo at home, you’ve probably heard advice like, “They need structure.” But what does that actually mean? And how do you create structure when your child seems allergic to schedules? Don’t worry—you’re not alone, and we’ve got some tips to help.
Why ADHD Kids Thrive on Structure
Think of structure like bumpers on a bowling lane. It doesn’t guarantee a strike, but it keeps the ball out of the gutter. For ADHD kids, routines and clear expectations provide a sense of safety and predictability in what often feels like a chaotic world.
When there’s structure, your child doesn’t have to guess what’s coming next. This reduces anxiety and helps their brain conserve energy for other tasks, like actually doing the thing instead of arguing about it.
Why ADHD Kids Thrive on Structure
Think of structure like bumpers on a bowling lane. It doesn’t guarantee a strike, but it keeps the ball out of the gutter. For ADHD kids, routines and clear expectations provide a sense of safety and predictability in what often feels like a chaotic world.
When there’s structure, your child doesn’t have to guess what’s coming next. This reduces anxiety and helps their brain conserve energy for other tasks, like actually doing the thing instead of arguing about it.
How to Build Structure that Works
What if Structure is Hard for You?
Let’s be real—creating structure isn’t always easy, especially if you’re a parent who also struggles with executive functioning challenges or who finds routines overwhelming. If this sounds familiar, here are some ideas to help:
- Start with small routines. Don’t overhaul your entire day all at once. Pick one routine, like bedtime, and stick with it.
- Use visuals and reminders. ADHD brains often respond better to what they can see than to what they hear. Create charts, use apps, or set up a big whiteboard in your kitchen.
- Be flexible (but not too flexible). Structure doesn’t mean rigidity. Build in some wiggle room so your child doesn’t feel boxed in. And allow for your child to have more autonomy as they start to figure things out and as they grow older.
- Consistency is key. The more predictable the routine, the more effective it becomes. Even if they resist at first, stick with it.
What if Structure is Hard for You?
Let’s be real—creating structure isn’t always easy, especially if you’re a parent who also struggles with executive functioning challenges or who finds routines overwhelming. If this sounds familiar, here are some ideas to help:
- Start small for yourself too. Pick one or two areas where you can create a simple routine, like meal prep or morning wake-ups. Build from there.
- Use the same tools you’d give your child. Visual schedules, timers, and checklists aren’t just for kids—they can work wonders for adults too.
- Outsource where you can. If organizing feels impossible, see if a partner, friend, or even a professional can help you set up systems that work for your family.
- Practice self-compassion. Parenting is tough, and parenting with ADHD or executive functioning challenges is even tougher. It’s okay if your version of structure looks different—it’s about progress, not perfection.
Make it Fun
Structure doesn’t have to feel like a chore. Add some fun elements, like silly songs for transitions or a rewards chart for completed tasks. If your child is motivated by humor or games, use that to your advantage.
Progress, Not Perfection
Creating structure isn’t about being the perfect parent; it’s about finding what works for your family. Start small, celebrate the wins, and remember: you’ve got this!
If structure still feels like a struggle, or if you feel like you could use some extra support, we’re here to help. At Arvada Therapy Solutions, we work with parents just like you to find strategies that work for your unique family dynamic. Reach out to learn more about our parenting support services.
Structure doesn’t have to feel like a chore. Add some fun elements, like silly songs for transitions or a rewards chart for completed tasks. If your child is motivated by humor or games, use that to your advantage.
Progress, Not Perfection
Creating structure isn’t about being the perfect parent; it’s about finding what works for your family. Start small, celebrate the wins, and remember: you’ve got this!
If structure still feels like a struggle, or if you feel like you could use some extra support, we’re here to help. At Arvada Therapy Solutions, we work with parents just like you to find strategies that work for your unique family dynamic. Reach out to learn more about our parenting support services.
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