By Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC
Yep, school is coming. Most likely, your summer schedule has become more lax and free-spirited. Vacations, inconsistent meal times, staying up late, and sleeping in are all some of the perks of summer vacation. As school approaches, parents fear the process of getting their kids back into a set and structured schedule. This is difficult for almost all children and parents alike. One of the major struggles I hear during the transition time of starting school in the fall is how to set a morning routine. For children with ADD and ADHD, structure in the mornings can help set the day and help them feel some control over their busy minds and bodies.
- A Good Morning Begins the Night Before
I have read many parenting articles and blogs that discuss setting up your entire morning routine the night before. This can include picking out the child’s outfits for the week and placing them in labeled, color-coded bins, packing the perfect lunch in multi-divided Tuperware with perfect nutrition, and baking a homemade breakfast after the children have peacefully gone to sleep. I don’t know about you, but my life does not look that way. By the time I have successfully gotten both of my children to sleep, I am exhausted and want to zone out with my hubby in front of the TV. By setting our expectations that we are going to set up a perfect morning routine complete with singing animals to help clean up any messes can lead us to have guilt that we are not doing a good job as a parent.
It can be very helpful, however, to set some things up the night before. What do you notice your child (or you) struggling with in the morning? Is there a fight about an appropriate outfit to wear? Does your child struggle to decide what to eat in the morning? Is there always a missing shoe that needs finding? The steps you complete the night before need to fit your family’s struggles. Choose one or two things that can help you and your child have a more successful morning. - Changing My Perspective and Approach
If your child struggles with ADHD, you will have to remind them to do things in the morning. Brushing their teeth and getting their backpacks ready are not exciting enough to keep their attention or to increase their motivation to complete many of these tasks. While it is a pain in the butt, acknowledging that your child is not doing this specifically to get under your skin can be helpful when you have asked your child to brush their teeth every morning and they still forget why they are headed to the bathroom. If you are used to screaming out orders from another room several times before having to walk up to their room to give them the same direction before it is completed, there is a different way. Children who struggle with executive function do better when there is physical connection on their level when being asked to complete a task. Touch your child on the shoulder, get down to their level, and look them in the eye when you are giving them a direction. Doing this the first time will help move things along. And if you are thinking you do not have time to stay with your child to complete all of the tasks of the morning, then keep reading on to the next tip. -
Create A Tangible Check-List
Having a checklist for your child that is posted somewhere they will see it and can manage it themselves can be very helpful. This helps keep them on track if they have to physically check things off and it can help manage their struggles with working memory and following step-by-step directions. These directions need to be specific and the expectations for completion known before the morning. Just telling your child to “go get ready,” can mean such a myriad of things to different people. By the time the check-list is complete, your child should “be ready to go.” Arvada Therapy Solutions has a check-list that may be helpful. - Breakfast is the Most Important Meal of the Day
Many people will forgo eating breakfast if they are in a rush to get out the door. This is not a good idea for any child and can really be detrimental for children with ADD and ADHD. These children need a good, high protein diet to help them maintain focus throughout the morning until their next meal. Breakfast is a very real struggle in our household as my oldest does not like to eat in the morning and does not like many foods high in protein. Because of this, he is required to drink a glass of milk every school morning. Sometimes this is all he will eat and at least I know he is getting some protein in the few calories ingested. There are a lot of great resources on Pinterest and other online sites to create breakfast menu options full of protein. It is a good idea to have your child select the options he or she will eat from the high protein options given so that you can always have some of these choices available. - Send Them Off with a Positive Message
Many children with ADD and ADHD struggle and do not enjoy school. This can be one of your biggest challenges while trying to get your child up, ready, and out the door. Leaving your house after yelling and fighting about getting ready for school can leave your child dysregulated and leave them less able to manage difficult emotions at school. Even if the morning routine did not go as planned, find a way to have a positive message on the drive to school or before they walk to the bus stop. Listening to music they enjoy, taking a deep breath together while sharing a positive mantra for the day, or just a long hug and positive message from you about their worth can go a long way in regulating their mood before their school day begins.
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