If you’ve got an ADHD kiddo at home, you’ve probably heard advice like, “They need structure.” But what does that actually mean? And how do you create structure when your child seems allergic to schedules? Don’t worry—you’re not alone, and we’ve got some tips to help.

Why ADHD Kids Thrive on Structure

Think of structure like bumpers on a bowling lane. It doesn’t guarantee a strike, but it keeps the ball out of the gutter. For ADHD kids, routines and clear expectations provide a sense of safety and predictability in what often feels like a chaotic world.

When there’s structure, your child doesn’t have to guess what’s coming next. This reduces anxiety and helps their brain conserve energy for other tasks, like actually doing the thing instead of arguing about it.

Parenting any child can be challenging, but when you add ADHD to the mix, it can feel like you’re juggling flaming swords. The good news? With the right strategies (and maybe a little extra caffeine), you can navigate these challenges without losing your cool.

Why ADHD Can Be Frustrating

Kids with ADHD aren’t trying to push your buttons (well, not most of the time). Their brain struggles with executive functions like planning, organizing, and impulse control. This means tasks like putting on shoes or finishing homework can turn into an Olympic event.

90 degree days are here! Time to go swimming and camping. Time to stay up late and time to sleep the day away.
 
These are some of the things that my boys are loving about summer. 
 
And even though it is still July, I am already dreading the transition to going back to school.
 
While the transition from the carefree days of summer break can be challenging for most children, it can be particularly tough for those with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). So, why is this shift from summer vacation back to the routine of school days difficult for children with ADHD?

The end of the school year is upon us!  As we start our summers during the age of COVID-19, we will continue to have to be flexible and manage our expectations.  Trips have been canceled.  Summer camps will look different; if they happen at all.  And the worry of what school will look like in the fall looms large for many.  Radical acceptance is a difficult concept for many adults to adhere to, so what about our kids?
 
In my lifetime, there has not been a global situation that has affected our children as much as this pandemic is, and the effects will be ongoing, long after there is a vaccine and our worlds look closer to how they were in 2019.  These times can be confusing, frustrating, and scary for many.  Our children’s mental health will be affected if it hasn’t been already, and while mental health professionals are equipped to deal with these experiences that our children are living through, parents are on the front lines.  Parents are the first line of defense.  This may seem really scary as a parent (I have the privilege of being a parent to two wonderful boys and feel unsure all the time).
 
How can we as parents help our children weather this storm?

By Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC

If you’re like me, you have always thought you’d be cool as a cucumber as a parent.  I will connect with my child and they will tell me everything.  We will be so close.  I will not do all of those annoying things that my parents did.  And then your sweet little child gets in your car after a day at school and you ask, “How was your day?”  The response, “Fine.”  So then you casually ask, “Well, did you learn anything new today?”  “No.”  By now your anxiety is moving up through your body.  “Did anything interesting happen at school today?”  “Not really.”

THAT’S IT!  I haven’t been with you for the past 8 hours (sometimes even longer) and that’s all I get?  Four words!!!  For many families, this change from sharing every little piece of information about their day to one and two word answers starts in the tween years (10-13 years old).  Well, for me, this conversation, if you can really call it that, happened when my child was three years old and I was picking him up from preschool.  

By Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC
​Adolescents

​Beginning middle school can be a very daunting experience.  I do not know many people that would say, “middle school was the best years of my life.”  The transition from one consistent teacher and a consistent group of kids in your class to a new teacher and new classmates is difficult enough.  Add in having a locker, twice as much homework, and usually waking up earlier, and it seems like it can’t get any worse.  But the most scary aspect of middle school for the majority of the kids I work with (and I would bet for a huge chunk of the tween population) is navigating the social scene in grades sixth through eighth.